Call My Wife- The other side of the story

In the advent of tele marketing, apps, websites and all the technological advancements, we still do heavily rely on the traditional method of finding houses. That is, walking around looking for the “TO LET” sign. Indeed, looking for a house has never been an easy affair and that is why I have dedicated this article in helping you know the other side of the story. Also, I will define con men who are out there to swindle you when you are most vulnerable.

Looking for a house is as depressing as ever especially when you are desperate. The rule of the thumb is that, when you want something, do not want it desperately because chances are you are going to get a raw deal.

So first things first. You know you need to move out of your house for a variety of reasons that I probably could not mention in this post alone. You have identified the characteristics of the house you wish to now occupy. Just to mention a few, cheaper, more bedrooms, more bathrooms, a compound, security and the list goes on. The hardest part comes in looking for your house.  

Naturally, google is always right by your side. You type “X-bedroomed house in Muthaiga.” The response is fast and you get a variety of choices. You marvel at how many search results this search engine has provided and start seeing them as choices of houses. You pick one. Leads you to one of the many sites you can get a house listing. OLX being the mother of all populates your handheld device with a variety of houses. Just like shopping, you view one after the other and you are happy. You dial the first number.

Have you ever talked back to a machine before? Excitement may at times get the best of you such that you will find yourself answering back to the voice saying “Sorry, the number you have called is not available. Please try again later.” Its Swahili rendition sounds even better. So you call a couple of numbers with no response and finally you land the jackpot. Please don’t get excited, I am not talking about Sportpesa.

A human now responds. He says that the house is still available telling you that it has been on demand. True to his word, the house is on demand. How? You checked out the date that the post was put up against the number of views it has had. 1 day ago with 738 views. If this does not send a chill down your spine then I bet when you hear that another prospect was from viewing the house you would feel it. Fact is that you might end up spending your whole day viewing different houses and trying to get in touch with the contacts. This is a frustrating ordeal when you realize that locating a good house is the easy part. Actually getting one is very intense.

The game of house hunting is like any other competitive sport. The only difference is that you cannot see your opponent and the referee who is your future landlord may be as corrupt as it gets. Your opponent is the other prospect that is always being told to you. “Somebody has just seen the house and loved it. He wants to pay for it before the end of the day!” You get desperate. You need a house and fast. Time is not on your side.

Then comes the agents. Assume nothing when looking for a house. You are bound to always be surprised by one thing or the other. A desperate man can easily be swayed to get a shoddy deal. Agents are people who act on the behalf of the landlord. This means that they are in charge of any operational activities of a house. They tend to be very cunning. Their deal is to sell the house to whoever comes first. Another agenda is to con very desperate individuals.

What is interesting is how they play with your emotions. They tell you that the house is on high demand. You cannot validate that information but every word that spews from his mouth highly suggests that you are not the only one looking at that house. Indeed this may be true. Audacious enough, they can even ask you to book the house in order to secure it in your name. You may even find yourself sending money to a house that you have no idea exists. Furthermore, how can you validate something you just found on the web?

Others redirect you to their wives. I guess this is a physiological ploy. Are we not accustomed to conmen? But what of “conwomen”? First of all, such a word exists. Look it up. Second, it is very hard to believe that a woman can be a con. Yes. We have that innate feeling that some characteristics are not visible in a woman and yet they are, sometimes in plain sight. These so called wives will sweetly talk to you convincing you ever more as to how you need to pay for that house. They even have the guts to call you out of your hiding place to assure you that they are for real only not to show up when they realize that you are not willing to get conned.

So beware of the money hungry agents who would want to con the sense out of you. Word of advice is, do not let your desperation fuel you, you will always end up vulnerable. At times it is also good to play along with such kind of situations. Experiencing this will give you an upper hand in categorizing real from cons. Lastly, please, do call my wife and tell her I have gotten an X-bedroomed house in Muthaiga.